Just wrong no matter what

Now lets talk about wrong. I personally believe this situation was totally inappropriate.
We went to a birthday party at my mom's friends house, for her daughter, who was just turning 15 years old. Mostly it was adults, and a few of this girls friends and her boyfriend. We were grilling hot dogs, riding the four wheeler, and just hanging out, when someone asked where the birthday girl was. Her mom said she didn't know, but would someone go downstairs and see if she was in her room. Well my mom and brother went down stairs, and she and her friends were in her bedroom watching TV. At this point, they were sitting on the bed watching TV, so my mom told Leeann where they were, and she seemed to have no problem with it. Then when my mom got through grilling the hot dogs, and most everyone had gone out on the deck to eat, Leeann asked if the birthday girl was going to eat, and asked my mom to go down and get them. Boy was that the wrong thing to do. When my mom went downstairs this time, birthday girl and her boyfriend were in the bed, under the covers, and the other 2 kids that had been in the room with them, were out in the den area. My mom came back upstairs and when her friend asked where the kids were, my mom told her. She asked my mom to go down and get them, and my mom said "NO, you should go down and send the other kids home, and make her come upstairs." So she yelled down at her for them to come up, when they did, the birthday girl, went over to her mom, and whispered in her ear that Aunt Donna (that is what they call my mom), had come downstairs and given her a really mean look. In all fairness, this is probably true, my mom most likely gave her that disapproving look all mothers seem to be able to give, to get their points across. This may seem really old fashioned, but I don't think she was showing respect for herself, her mother or the guests. If it had been me, making a decsion about what needed to be done, I would have sent everyone home, ending the birthday party. I would have made her return the gifts, and then I would have to decide what would be a just punishment. I would like to see everyone in the world have more respect for themselves and others.